What I want to be known for.
On how I want my life and work to be received in the world.
This past weekend I hosted a birthday get-together for myself. In attendance were some of my dearest friends. Friends from as far back as fifth grade to friends who’ve recently entered my life. Friends from Ohio, New York, and all over the DMV who came to celebrate another year of life with me.
At the beginning of the night, I asked everyone to introduce themselves, share their favorite memory of us, and answer a self-reflection or self-love question from my favorite game. Some folks took it a step further and shared what they love most about me. My heart swelled with joy and appreciation as the sentiments poured in.
Some of them let me know that they admire my ability to show up authentically, encouraging them to do the same, and my ability to establish and enforce boundaries, also resulting in them learning to do the same. One of my best friends since high school shared that talking to me felt like free therapy. I love that.
Yesterday, I attended an author talk with Chelene Knight and she shared a gentle reminder that provoked a lot of thought: “Think about what you want to be known for through your words and projects.” I often reflect on my “why,” the reasons I show up to the page as rawly and authentically as I do, but yesterday’s conversation and the reflections from my friends led me to sit down and spell out what I want to be known for from my life’s walk and works.
I want to be known for…
Helping others to feel seen and less alone in their struggles.
While I speak specifically about my experiences with Bipolar Disorder most often, I want anyone with any kind of struggle, neurodiversity, or life happening to feel seen. To feel like someone else is the world knows, understands, and/or empathizes with their plight. I want them to feel relief knowing that they aren’t the only somebodies in the world having these experiences.
Allowing folks to know themselves and others.
Self-awareness is so important to maintaining mental stability for me.. and others. To know myself is to know how to show up and advocate for myself, to know how I operate, what to gravitate towards, and what to steer clear of. I want to help others do the same and understand the folks in their lives who may have shared experiences.
Being a safe space.
One of my most cherished compliments is “you feel like such a safe place to just be.” For the majority of my life, I did not feel safe to be my most authentic self completely. There was always something being masked. Mental Illness. Sexuality. Interests. Talents. All were hidden because I didn’t feel safe to expose them. Now that I feel completely free to be my authentic self in all the ways, I want to always feel like a safe space for others to do the same whether in word or deed.
Educating.
“You teach when you write, I walk away having learned something.” -
Some days I am proud of how far we’ve come in increasing the conversations happening about neurodiversity and mental illness. Then I experience the stigma in some way and am reminded of how far we still have to go. I want to do my part. Have my voice heard. And add more lived experiences in the conversation to speak for those who can’t or won’t. To add information that may not be known or considered.
Being a literary great.
I want my name to come up in conversations about Miss Toni, Miss Audre, Miss Angelou, and the like. I want bodies of work in the world that change lives, inspire others, and are in continuous print. If I wanted to self-publish something just to be published, I have enough material to do so. But I want to come out swinging so the world can’t help but see me.
Freeing folks.
I love hearing that I inspired someone to start therapy where they’ve learned transformational information about themselves and their experiences in the world up until this point. My heart leaps when someone says they felt free to come out partly because of my story. I am overjoyed in knowing that my walk and my words have given others the permission to get free. To be who and what feels most natural and true for them.
Knowing my shit.
“Ashleigh just knows a lot of shit about a lot of shit. Like, why do you know that?” I’m a forever student. I despise the education system but I enjoy knowledge. I like knowing a lot about a lot. And I know the way I’m articulating this doesn’t back up my claim but, just believe me. I be knowing what I’m talking about. And if I don’t, I’ma learn.
I’m sure that I could spend an entire evening writing this list but these were the first thoughts that came to mind.
What do you want to be known for?
Thank you for reading ‘here comes the sun.’
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I want to be known for being someone fostered community around wellness practices. Thank you for asking & Happy Belated Birthday 🤎
I thoroughly enjoy your writing! I also wanted to restack every sentence because so much of what you said aligns with my own dreams and aspirations.
And you articulated it so beautifully.
You may have just inspired one of my next letters.
Thank you for being a radiant soul and the heart you have for people’s well-being 🤎