Listen, I just told a friend yesterday that I only tell folks who desire motherhood the real IF they want it and to come directly to me because I’ll tell IT ALL! Hahaha it really is a gift but we don’t always like the gifts we receive and that’s okay!
Thank you for writing this! I read it and related hard while trying to prepare for asynchronous learning, cook breakfast, and deal with a toddler weaving between my legs!
I’m not a mother, but I think it is so important for women to have space to tell their truth without guilt or shame. I have a feeling that so many women deeply identify with what you have shared.
First of all your daughter is a cutie! Thank you for your transparency. It's not always easy to express your truth regarding motherhood. I have two teenagers, a girl and a boy and I was telling my friend how I don't like my teenage son right now and I am ok with saying that. There will be times when you don't like your children and that's ok and it doesn't change your love for them. You're doing an amazing job! I would love to say it gets better, but the truth is, each stage presents new challenges and it's important to take care of yourself so you can be your best and in return, you'll give your best to your daughter.
Thank you, Siobhan! Her cuteness helps to make this not feel so bad when she’s smiling and laughing without a care in the world. What you said about each stage is so true and I’m realizing that even only a few stages in myself. I hope things turn around with your son, and if not, you two come to a beautiful understanding of sorts.
I chuckled writing it! I really do hope she reads them one day since I plan to leave them to her. So I leave her personal notes and letters sometimes as I’m writing.
I don’t have children but looking on the outside it appears that it doesn’t always seem to be a good time. But even in the middle of disruption a parent will pause and say it’s joyful. I love the transparency! Thank you for the honesty... even the reversal... caregiving I long for those days to be alone.
There are so many parallels between parenting and caregiving so sending you love and hugs for those rough days too. I’m not one of those mommas who can lie and say “motherhood is my greatest joy” when it is quite opposite at the moment 🤭😅
Forever on team irked-by-and-in-love-with-our-children 😅 thank you for sharing this today, Ashleigh. If we don't talk about what's hard, it will never get any easier!
thank you. this here single mama is bowing to you in honor and gratitude. there is such power in sharing truth, and i am feeling so empowered by yours.
Ahh, Meg I’m sending you SO much love! Thank you! I wanted my words to empower other mommas to do the same or at least release some guilt or shame they may feel.
I wholeheartedly agree not just with the necessity for honesty about motherhood and how so few people engage in it but also about how sometimes your kids get on your tits. That’s stone cold facts, not a statement of poor mothering 😆 The glorification of motherhood, including the pretending that aspects of it aren’t tough, is just straight-up gaslighting. Hope you had more sleep last night 🙏🏾
Thank you so much, Natalie! I can't get with the glorification of motherhood as this job that is nothing but joy and gratitude. Ava will be back with her dad tomorrow so I'm looking forward to two good nights of sleep!
You irk her too, and that’s why she’s your Sweetest Sweet! And parenting, not having kids but parenting is hard AF and that’s why it’s so rewarding, feel on, Ashleigh!
Thank you for writing this. It is mad to me that parents are expected not only to keep a child alive (an all consuming task, I have heard) but do it without complaint. x
Thank you for sharing, Kylie-Ann! And I hope this tough season also brings you moments of joy with them as well. And I definitely feel you on wanting to be left alone, I need to get her some play dates lol
“I hope in the future we grow to have the kind of relationship where we can joke about these times and I’m able to tell her about these moments without hurting her feelings. And if she decides to become a parent one day, I will be there to remind her that these moments are normal and okay, especially if she struggles mentally like I do.” love this approach so much, extending grace to you both <3
Your honesty is a breath of fresh air. I am not a parent,. I have many friends who are and I know they struggle with the reality of how exhausting it is, especially as a solo parent but feel the same as you wrote - that feeling that way is somehow unacceptable. I was also reminded of what a therapist of mine said about relationships (and I think this holds true for all relationships) - you love someone but sometimes when they are on your last nerve, you don't like them, and that's okay. It doesn't diminish the love you have for them.
Oooh that is a great point about relationships, I have to remember that this is a relationship like all others in my life and relationships aren't always rosey. Thank you for the reminder Talia and for your support as always!
Thank you for sharing your story even when it doesn't look pretty. I don't think I'm the first to say that we need to voice out what motherhood is really like so we can get the support we need and we lessen the pressure on ourselves to be "Mother of the Year's all the time, because let's face it, it is hard work and it's ok to not get it "right" all the time.
I was really, really feeling all of this this morning when my 2-year-old had a full on meltdown because I wouldn’t let her put her dirty diaper back on. 😂
Sometimes--a lot of the time--parenting is really terrible!!!
Whew! Ohemgee my three year old is fighting potty training. One minute she’s going by herself just fine another minute she holding it and screaming for a pull up 🤦🏾♀️ Here’s to solidarity and keeping it together while being hazed 🤣
It is hazing, you’re right!! We started potty training this week, and I feel you. She’s catching on ok so far but is definitely acting out from the stress. Last night she had a 30-minute screaming meltdown because I .... made her dinner. 😂
Whewwww .. I’m triggered because Ava requested chicken nuggets, cried when I gave her the chicken nuggets and said “I don’t want chicken nuggets I want riiiice” and when I took the nuggets she cried saying she wanted them 😭😭😭 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEE 🤭
Bless you for your honesty here, because people like me desire the wholeeeee truth. So I can be prepared lol
Listen, I just told a friend yesterday that I only tell folks who desire motherhood the real IF they want it and to come directly to me because I’ll tell IT ALL! Hahaha it really is a gift but we don’t always like the gifts we receive and that’s okay!
Thank you for writing this! I read it and related hard while trying to prepare for asynchronous learning, cook breakfast, and deal with a toddler weaving between my legs!
Sending you alll the love boo! You got this, and if you ever need to vent about how hard this is you know my inbox is always open for youuuu!
I’m not a mother, but I think it is so important for women to have space to tell their truth without guilt or shame. I have a feeling that so many women deeply identify with what you have shared.
I know they do because anytime I post something like this, they meet me with a “me too, sis” in my DMs or comments 🙌🏾 Thank you!
First of all your daughter is a cutie! Thank you for your transparency. It's not always easy to express your truth regarding motherhood. I have two teenagers, a girl and a boy and I was telling my friend how I don't like my teenage son right now and I am ok with saying that. There will be times when you don't like your children and that's ok and it doesn't change your love for them. You're doing an amazing job! I would love to say it gets better, but the truth is, each stage presents new challenges and it's important to take care of yourself so you can be your best and in return, you'll give your best to your daughter.
Thank you, Siobhan! Her cuteness helps to make this not feel so bad when she’s smiling and laughing without a care in the world. What you said about each stage is so true and I’m realizing that even only a few stages in myself. I hope things turn around with your son, and if not, you two come to a beautiful understanding of sorts.
"After all, she did not ask to be here and she did not choose a life of part-time solo parenting—I did."
Spoken like a true Mother of the Year. Ava is so lucky you're her mommy. And your little message to her at the end made me LOL 😂
I chuckled writing it! I really do hope she reads them one day since I plan to leave them to her. So I leave her personal notes and letters sometimes as I’m writing.
I don’t have children but looking on the outside it appears that it doesn’t always seem to be a good time. But even in the middle of disruption a parent will pause and say it’s joyful. I love the transparency! Thank you for the honesty... even the reversal... caregiving I long for those days to be alone.
There are so many parallels between parenting and caregiving so sending you love and hugs for those rough days too. I’m not one of those mommas who can lie and say “motherhood is my greatest joy” when it is quite opposite at the moment 🤭😅
Forever on team irked-by-and-in-love-with-our-children 😅 thank you for sharing this today, Ashleigh. If we don't talk about what's hard, it will never get any easier!
Loool yes, I am deeply in love with her while being but the irk is realll!!! Thank you, A!
thank you. this here single mama is bowing to you in honor and gratitude. there is such power in sharing truth, and i am feeling so empowered by yours.
Ahh, Meg I’m sending you SO much love! Thank you! I wanted my words to empower other mommas to do the same or at least release some guilt or shame they may feel.
I wholeheartedly agree not just with the necessity for honesty about motherhood and how so few people engage in it but also about how sometimes your kids get on your tits. That’s stone cold facts, not a statement of poor mothering 😆 The glorification of motherhood, including the pretending that aspects of it aren’t tough, is just straight-up gaslighting. Hope you had more sleep last night 🙏🏾
Thank you so much, Natalie! I can't get with the glorification of motherhood as this job that is nothing but joy and gratitude. Ava will be back with her dad tomorrow so I'm looking forward to two good nights of sleep!
You irk her too, and that’s why she’s your Sweetest Sweet! And parenting, not having kids but parenting is hard AF and that’s why it’s so rewarding, feel on, Ashleigh!
Hahahaha!! The way she already heavy sighs and ignores me, I'm sure I do! Thank you C. Elyse!!
She tells her baby dolls, “Mommy irks me, don’t tell her I said that!” 🤣
Thank you for writing this. It is mad to me that parents are expected not only to keep a child alive (an all consuming task, I have heard) but do it without complaint. x
Thank you for reading, Kate! And it is indeed madness, I blame the patriarchy hahaha
Lol omg definitely!!!!!
Big big relate from me.
I am not enjoying this season of motherhood.
Will I miss my kids when I do eventually go back to work full-time? Probably
Do I still want them to leave me alone for most of the time I spend with them? Definitely.
It’s hard. Thank you for your honest take on it.
Thank you for sharing, Kylie-Ann! And I hope this tough season also brings you moments of joy with them as well. And I definitely feel you on wanting to be left alone, I need to get her some play dates lol
“I hope in the future we grow to have the kind of relationship where we can joke about these times and I’m able to tell her about these moments without hurting her feelings. And if she decides to become a parent one day, I will be there to remind her that these moments are normal and okay, especially if she struggles mentally like I do.” love this approach so much, extending grace to you both <3
Thank you Amara!!
Your honesty is a breath of fresh air. I am not a parent,. I have many friends who are and I know they struggle with the reality of how exhausting it is, especially as a solo parent but feel the same as you wrote - that feeling that way is somehow unacceptable. I was also reminded of what a therapist of mine said about relationships (and I think this holds true for all relationships) - you love someone but sometimes when they are on your last nerve, you don't like them, and that's okay. It doesn't diminish the love you have for them.
Oooh that is a great point about relationships, I have to remember that this is a relationship like all others in my life and relationships aren't always rosey. Thank you for the reminder Talia and for your support as always!
Thank you for sharing your story even when it doesn't look pretty. I don't think I'm the first to say that we need to voice out what motherhood is really like so we can get the support we need and we lessen the pressure on ourselves to be "Mother of the Year's all the time, because let's face it, it is hard work and it's ok to not get it "right" all the time.
You’re so right, Abigail, this is hard work and it’s okay to not be in love with it! Thank you for reading!
I was really, really feeling all of this this morning when my 2-year-old had a full on meltdown because I wouldn’t let her put her dirty diaper back on. 😂
Sometimes--a lot of the time--parenting is really terrible!!!
Whew! Ohemgee my three year old is fighting potty training. One minute she’s going by herself just fine another minute she holding it and screaming for a pull up 🤦🏾♀️ Here’s to solidarity and keeping it together while being hazed 🤣
It is hazing, you’re right!! We started potty training this week, and I feel you. She’s catching on ok so far but is definitely acting out from the stress. Last night she had a 30-minute screaming meltdown because I .... made her dinner. 😂
Yes to solidarity!
Whewwww .. I’m triggered because Ava requested chicken nuggets, cried when I gave her the chicken nuggets and said “I don’t want chicken nuggets I want riiiice” and when I took the nuggets she cried saying she wanted them 😭😭😭 WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM MEEEEE 🤭
Exactly this! I feel like Ava and Zoe would get along great 🤣