Ugh, these responses 😣. Thank you for sharing even though you do not owe anyone a God damn explanation. Especially after insensitive remarks. This point really resonated with me: "We as humans don’t always know the right things to say when attempting to comfort one another and instead of admitting that, we often say the wrong things." I find this especially true when I examine my shortcomings when it comes to death. There’s a handful of books in my cart I hope will guide me through being a compassionate space for others in the throws of grief.
Our society has made it so hard to simply say "I don't know what's the right thing to do or say here, but I want to say something" I know I'm guilty of not always saying the right things myself and remembering my own frustration makes me put more thought into how I'm attempting to comfort folks with my words. And, when I don't know what to say but I want to be of comfort, I've simply learned to say just that. Thank you for reading Rachel!
Thanks for sharing. I didn't know that unspoken financial competition was a thing among friends until I got the job I currently have. It is so disheartening to learn that people actually compare themselves to their circle financially and treat you according to their expectations that you have no knowledge of. I don't even tell people what I do anymore. Now when people ask what I do, I only provide that I'm a writer. My primary job provides stability and keeping it quiet provides me sanity. Humans are not good at communicating authentic compassion because our society has a toxic culture of comparison, inequality, hatred and abuse. You seem to have found a solid footing with writing and I hope that leads you to a financially stable position that affords you choices to live peacefully no matter what. I always say "don't put me on a pedestal and get mad at me for not meeting your expectations. I didn't agree to be there and owe you nothing". Keep prioritizing your health and peace and things will work out.❤️
Thank you so much Dena! And you are absolutely right, our society has us pocket-watching sometimes and its so infuriating. Money is not a huge factor in my close friendships and so I am never under the assumption that I am in competition with anyone so it was odd and hurtful to hear this from someone.
Exactly. That's how I felt when I found out about it. It hurts. Especially when you realize that people treat you according to your perceived financial standing. I think one of the best elements of writing is it gives us the opportunity to stimulate conversation about these unspoken mindsets that manifest in our relationships.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to read this. I’m currently unemployed and have heard each of these things from well meaning people. It’s been a lesson in discernment and protecting my peace even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else but me.
Exactly! I hope things turn around for you soon, I remember all of the uncertainty, scarcity, and frustration that came with that period of time so I've sending you love! And we know what we need better than anyone else does so trust yourself.
Ugh, these responses 😣. Thank you for sharing even though you do not owe anyone a God damn explanation. Especially after insensitive remarks. This point really resonated with me: "We as humans don’t always know the right things to say when attempting to comfort one another and instead of admitting that, we often say the wrong things." I find this especially true when I examine my shortcomings when it comes to death. There’s a handful of books in my cart I hope will guide me through being a compassionate space for others in the throws of grief.
Our society has made it so hard to simply say "I don't know what's the right thing to do or say here, but I want to say something" I know I'm guilty of not always saying the right things myself and remembering my own frustration makes me put more thought into how I'm attempting to comfort folks with my words. And, when I don't know what to say but I want to be of comfort, I've simply learned to say just that. Thank you for reading Rachel!
You're right. America's machismo can often make it seem like not having an answer is the wrong answer when often it is the most compassionate one.
Thanks for sharing. I didn't know that unspoken financial competition was a thing among friends until I got the job I currently have. It is so disheartening to learn that people actually compare themselves to their circle financially and treat you according to their expectations that you have no knowledge of. I don't even tell people what I do anymore. Now when people ask what I do, I only provide that I'm a writer. My primary job provides stability and keeping it quiet provides me sanity. Humans are not good at communicating authentic compassion because our society has a toxic culture of comparison, inequality, hatred and abuse. You seem to have found a solid footing with writing and I hope that leads you to a financially stable position that affords you choices to live peacefully no matter what. I always say "don't put me on a pedestal and get mad at me for not meeting your expectations. I didn't agree to be there and owe you nothing". Keep prioritizing your health and peace and things will work out.❤️
Thank you so much Dena! And you are absolutely right, our society has us pocket-watching sometimes and its so infuriating. Money is not a huge factor in my close friendships and so I am never under the assumption that I am in competition with anyone so it was odd and hurtful to hear this from someone.
Exactly. That's how I felt when I found out about it. It hurts. Especially when you realize that people treat you according to your perceived financial standing. I think one of the best elements of writing is it gives us the opportunity to stimulate conversation about these unspoken mindsets that manifest in our relationships.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed to read this. I’m currently unemployed and have heard each of these things from well meaning people. It’s been a lesson in discernment and protecting my peace even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else but me.
Exactly! I hope things turn around for you soon, I remember all of the uncertainty, scarcity, and frustration that came with that period of time so I've sending you love! And we know what we need better than anyone else does so trust yourself.
Whew 😰 I can relate so deeply.