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Kiwiwriter47's avatar

Well, my wife says, grimly, "If I don't care, I can't get hurt."

It's vile, cold, and cruel...but there's wisdom in it.

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

True, but we often can't change some of the things we care about, and therein lies our problem.

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Kiwiwriter47's avatar

I agree with you, because that sentence accurately describes my present family situation, but I would rather not discuss it in public.

I hope you can understand.

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

Understood!

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sixmorecharacters's avatar

I'm here, Ashleigh.

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

Thank you for being here!

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Kerala Goodkin's avatar

I can absolutely relate to #5... I try so hard not to get obsessed with views and subscriber counts and consistently fail. Before I started writing online, I never got super swept up in any social media platforms and didn't use my phone much. Now I have to be intentional about setting guardrails for myself to not obsessively check my notifications & stats. It's ironic -- the actual process of writing and speaking my truth has been wonderful for my mental health, but the dopamine-inducing notifications are terrible for my mental health. I either feel totally flooded, if a story is doing well, or desperate for more attention, if the algorithm stops paying attention to me.

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

All of this, Kerala, SAME!!! And even if we didn't want to focus on metrics, it's the first thing we see logging into our dashboard, so we have no choice but to pay attention to them sometimes. Here's to continuing to write and hopefully finding a happy medium with the rest.

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Kaitlyn Elizabeth's avatar

Here, here. 💕

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KanikaXx's avatar

I absolutely loved this post. Thank you for sharing. I'm so here for your upcoming published works! I can already see you at the book signing. You have such a magnetic quality to your presence! That really came through during the writing group a while back- there was such a warm and jovial quality about your writing. I know that doesn't encompass your whole being but even the dark, challenging themes are really engaging and resonant!

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

Omg 🥹🥰 Thank you for these words. I’m almost speechless. 😭 Thank you for affirming me so.

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Pryce Q.'s avatar

No. 5 - oh how this resonates with me. While it would be great to reach more people, it's not *the* priority.

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

Absolutely!!

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Kiana Blake-Chung's avatar

Awww when I got that text I had assumed that was the prompt behind it but I didn’t know quite how best to respond in that moment. I know it’s hard to feel safe in friendships after someone has made it feel unsafe and I applaud you for still showing up for the ones you love even when navigating the grief of the times that love has been unrequited.

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Ashleigh Vaughn's avatar

I admit that I instantly regret mass texting that knowing that my folks love me so and would be concerned but it was all I could do in the moment to not let the paranoid thoughts win. "This is going to happen again, there are others."

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