I hope you keep speakimg your truth. I grew up Baptist, and then spent many adult years studying the teachings of the Buddha. I was drawn back to the music and trascendent beauty of devotion in the Batptist service. But one day a Christian at my church home happened to mention that most definitely there was a special place in hell reserved for Buddhists. I no longer felt welcome.
I'll always continue to speak my truth. It's funny you say that because a lot of Buddhists principles land well with me but I'm not interested in any other organized religion.
Organized religion is not for me either. Of course, Buddhism has been organized into a religion in many countries, but I don't participate in any of that. I find Truth in the principles, sans buildings and meetings.
Sin is a betrayal of self. I see none here. My Christian love is with you as you continue traveling your journey to discover all God set you free to do. You are supported and you are loved 💙
Already adore the preface 😭😭😭😭😭 admire and appreciate forever your ability to express the internal struggles, like the meta aspects of what you’re writing about!!!!!!!!! Xxxxxxx
"So be nice, or be blessed and blocked." "...after I left, it was like a rock the size of Mount Everest was removed from my back." "And I feel peace and comfort in making that decision. Far more peace and assurance than I ever had in the faith."
you're a fantastic writer! I really enjoyed the tone you have throughout this piece and how rooted it is in being true to one's self. thank you for sharing, there's so much i can relate to. I deconverted between the summer of 2018 and finally by January 2019, I could say I was no longer a Christian. Your line about peace and assurance really resonates. I always struggled with knowing my eternity rested in one single prayer and it gave me so much anxiety wondering if I didn't pray the sinner's pray right off and on over the years. Same with the whole communion speech. I actually just shared a piece on menstrual bleeding and suprisingly threaded in the communion spiel. Funny how much fear it used to give me
Thank you for this excellent article. I also left organized religion when I no longer fit, or it no longer fit me. Like you, I also have more freedom and peace than when I was 'practicing' my faith. I feel more real, less judgmental, and wholly committed to being the best person I can be.
Such a welcome piece to read today. I've been struggling with my husband's reversion to his childhood religion and many of your reflections mirror my feelings here. Thank you for sharing this publicly. Xx
Thank you for diving deeper and sharing your truth. Let’s normalize being able to freely say, “I’m no longer a Christian” without fear of judgement. Be free, sis!
Ashleigh, I honor your courage for sharing. Religion is such a touchy subject especially for Africans like me.
I'm going through a reconditioning which I became fully aware of in 2020, but I had been struggling with church long before then. It was in 2021 during the pandemic I finally decided to stop associating with church all together. I too grew up in church. I was in the choir, served in other church "units", even influenced a close friend to join after university. My mom was & still is very active so a lot of my influence came from her.
I was active but deep down none of the church culture & religion made sense to me. The fact that they tacitly (some openly) encourage the abuse and exploitation of women was offensive to my spirit.
Will I write about it, maybe, maybe not. One thing I know is never to impose my beliefs or try to get anyone to see what I see or explain myself. If I sense that the person is ready for it, then I'm all in gradually. I'm doing the same with my sister.
It's not my duty and who am I to impose my beliefs on people? A practice which is also part of the reasons I left the church.
I've been enjoying a couple of novels from Substack writers who handle themes of the struggle between our faith traditions and upbringing and our desires for a life that makes sense to us. This is a very important and common situation and we've hardly begun to have the conversations yet that we need around deconstructing the traditions. As an anthropologist, and a believer in *something*, it never made sense to me to see people step into other traditions . Take e.g. Buddhism. Have you seen Buddhism in Sri Lanka? Do you know what Buddhists did to the Tamil Tigers? Any and every spiritual tradition is situated in this world and subject to the same distortions and misuses by the powerful. If we cut slack to Buddhism and say, "ah but the Buddha would not have wanted torture", then can we do the same for our own traditions? Also, I worry about cultural appropriation a bit. So I've chosen to stay sitting somewhere in the highly deconstructed Christian tradition, where plenty of theology, ancient and contemporary, offers satisfying complexity and genuine humility, with values of goodness. Bryan McLaren and early Rob Bell kind of reading for everyday spirituality, people like John Caputo for a more academic and philosophical set of theologies. There's so much out there, from liberation theology through Black womanist theologies and into queer Christianity. We can keep talking and living as best we can, and try not to throw babies with bathwater, maybe?
Ah, all I mean is that, for me, it goes like this: you say, "I know there is a higher power or source or reason for existence, I just don’t know what that is. And I’m okay with that" and that's pretty much what a lot of deconstructed Christians say, too. So however we define ourselves, we can still have conversations. And for me, rejecting all the mysticism, rituals of healing, textual knowledge, refusals to live an unenchanted life where what I'm buying next is supposed to form my 'core values' - well, for me (I need to keep saying that, I know it) - turning my back on all that would be a "throwing baby out with bathwater" kind of move. Here's something that's horribly nerdy, sorry, but if anyone on here is interested in that kind of analysis, I wrote this article after living among very observant Muslims for a while. We're all struggling with the same things: what might our spiritual and faith lives look like, now that we're leaving the fairy-tales and just-so stories behind and we're trying to grow up and acknowledge the massive amount of human (mis) interpretation and the fact that *who you are shapes how you interpret*. I'm now in that place where I miss going to mass, I hang out loosely with a very progressive and totally inclusive Baptist Church (nothing like what Baptist sometimes means) and I hold on to something - but the details are loose. This stuff is hard, eh? https://olh.openlibhums.org/article/id/4406/
Anyway, I hope we keep talking and I hope you write more. Among queer folk, I've met *so many* who have been viciously harmed by church, and I understand why, for some, walking away can feel like the best thing. For others among us, hanging on and wrestling like Job feels more our path. Whatever - church MUST change. Like, a lot!
Ahh, I gotcha. Thank you for explaining and sharing. You’re right, we’re all struggling and trying to figure life out. I no longer choose to complicate that by trying to find the creator and how they want to be worshipped. Thanks for the conversation and I’ll surely keep writing, you please do the same!
Thank you for speaking your truth and your experience. I grew up Jehovah's Witness and then converted to the charismatic sector of Christianity. I definitely believe in a higher being and have spiritual practices of my own, but definitely not interested in any form of organized religion as well. Thank you for sharing!
I’m currently in the ‘I’m not sure what spirituality is to me but it’s definitely not this’ phase and I think why it’s a struggle for me to actively seek out what that means is cause I still live with my very catholic family so it’s very tricky. I love that your piece emphasised on a sort of personal acknowledgment of a change in beliefs as opposed to making announcements or something.
I do believe the general spirituality of the universe and that a lot of things feels like magic and all that stuff.
Your piece feels validating and like a I can just take a deep breath to make sense of things at my pace and I love you for that. 💜💜
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Janoma. I realize I’m privileged in that I live over 300 miles away from my immediate family and home church so there’s not much immediate pressure.
What a happy coincidence that I read this a few days after I've also taken the step to write about why I no longer practice religion (inspired, in part, by someone else's post).
I hope you keep speakimg your truth. I grew up Baptist, and then spent many adult years studying the teachings of the Buddha. I was drawn back to the music and trascendent beauty of devotion in the Batptist service. But one day a Christian at my church home happened to mention that most definitely there was a special place in hell reserved for Buddhists. I no longer felt welcome.
I'll always continue to speak my truth. It's funny you say that because a lot of Buddhists principles land well with me but I'm not interested in any other organized religion.
Organized religion is not for me either. Of course, Buddhism has been organized into a religion in many countries, but I don't participate in any of that. I find Truth in the principles, sans buildings and meetings.
Deconstructing is hard. Thank you for sharing. 🧡
So hard, but so worth it. Thank you A.
Sin is a betrayal of self. I see none here. My Christian love is with you as you continue traveling your journey to discover all God set you free to do. You are supported and you are loved 💙
Thank you hun. Sending that love right back to you.
you’re a special breed of christian, Candice. Love that. 🫂
Amen. Thank you, Tobi. May Love continue transcending all our understanding 🫂
🫂
Already adore the preface 😭😭😭😭😭 admire and appreciate forever your ability to express the internal struggles, like the meta aspects of what you’re writing about!!!!!!!!! Xxxxxxx
The thoughts are forever running through my mind so might as well release them, right?
"So be nice, or be blessed and blocked." "...after I left, it was like a rock the size of Mount Everest was removed from my back." "And I feel peace and comfort in making that decision. Far more peace and assurance than I ever had in the faith."
you're a fantastic writer! I really enjoyed the tone you have throughout this piece and how rooted it is in being true to one's self. thank you for sharing, there's so much i can relate to. I deconverted between the summer of 2018 and finally by January 2019, I could say I was no longer a Christian. Your line about peace and assurance really resonates. I always struggled with knowing my eternity rested in one single prayer and it gave me so much anxiety wondering if I didn't pray the sinner's pray right off and on over the years. Same with the whole communion speech. I actually just shared a piece on menstrual bleeding and suprisingly threaded in the communion spiel. Funny how much fear it used to give me
Thank you so much for sharing Shalenah and I'm so glad you've found freedom!
Thank you for this excellent article. I also left organized religion when I no longer fit, or it no longer fit me. Like you, I also have more freedom and peace than when I was 'practicing' my faith. I feel more real, less judgmental, and wholly committed to being the best person I can be.
I love this for you Joyce! Thank you for sharing.
I love you ♥️
I love you! 💛
Such a welcome piece to read today. I've been struggling with my husband's reversion to his childhood religion and many of your reflections mirror my feelings here. Thank you for sharing this publicly. Xx
Thank you for diving deeper and sharing your truth. Let’s normalize being able to freely say, “I’m no longer a Christian” without fear of judgement. Be free, sis!
Thank you so much Evelyn!!
Ashleigh, I honor your courage for sharing. Religion is such a touchy subject especially for Africans like me.
I'm going through a reconditioning which I became fully aware of in 2020, but I had been struggling with church long before then. It was in 2021 during the pandemic I finally decided to stop associating with church all together. I too grew up in church. I was in the choir, served in other church "units", even influenced a close friend to join after university. My mom was & still is very active so a lot of my influence came from her.
I was active but deep down none of the church culture & religion made sense to me. The fact that they tacitly (some openly) encourage the abuse and exploitation of women was offensive to my spirit.
Will I write about it, maybe, maybe not. One thing I know is never to impose my beliefs or try to get anyone to see what I see or explain myself. If I sense that the person is ready for it, then I'm all in gradually. I'm doing the same with my sister.
It's not my duty and who am I to impose my beliefs on people? A practice which is also part of the reasons I left the church.
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m finding that this is so many people’s stories. Especially millennials.
wow! i love you TOBI! now, i see why we connected instantly.
🥰Aww, Tobi!
This was beautiful, authentic, and real. That’s all I got for now. Thank you.
Thank you Robert. That is usually my sentiments after reading your words so I’m honored!
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹
I've been enjoying a couple of novels from Substack writers who handle themes of the struggle between our faith traditions and upbringing and our desires for a life that makes sense to us. This is a very important and common situation and we've hardly begun to have the conversations yet that we need around deconstructing the traditions. As an anthropologist, and a believer in *something*, it never made sense to me to see people step into other traditions . Take e.g. Buddhism. Have you seen Buddhism in Sri Lanka? Do you know what Buddhists did to the Tamil Tigers? Any and every spiritual tradition is situated in this world and subject to the same distortions and misuses by the powerful. If we cut slack to Buddhism and say, "ah but the Buddha would not have wanted torture", then can we do the same for our own traditions? Also, I worry about cultural appropriation a bit. So I've chosen to stay sitting somewhere in the highly deconstructed Christian tradition, where plenty of theology, ancient and contemporary, offers satisfying complexity and genuine humility, with values of goodness. Bryan McLaren and early Rob Bell kind of reading for everyday spirituality, people like John Caputo for a more academic and philosophical set of theologies. There's so much out there, from liberation theology through Black womanist theologies and into queer Christianity. We can keep talking and living as best we can, and try not to throw babies with bathwater, maybe?
Hmm, I’m not sure what you mean by the last line, can you explain if you care to?
Ah, all I mean is that, for me, it goes like this: you say, "I know there is a higher power or source or reason for existence, I just don’t know what that is. And I’m okay with that" and that's pretty much what a lot of deconstructed Christians say, too. So however we define ourselves, we can still have conversations. And for me, rejecting all the mysticism, rituals of healing, textual knowledge, refusals to live an unenchanted life where what I'm buying next is supposed to form my 'core values' - well, for me (I need to keep saying that, I know it) - turning my back on all that would be a "throwing baby out with bathwater" kind of move. Here's something that's horribly nerdy, sorry, but if anyone on here is interested in that kind of analysis, I wrote this article after living among very observant Muslims for a while. We're all struggling with the same things: what might our spiritual and faith lives look like, now that we're leaving the fairy-tales and just-so stories behind and we're trying to grow up and acknowledge the massive amount of human (mis) interpretation and the fact that *who you are shapes how you interpret*. I'm now in that place where I miss going to mass, I hang out loosely with a very progressive and totally inclusive Baptist Church (nothing like what Baptist sometimes means) and I hold on to something - but the details are loose. This stuff is hard, eh? https://olh.openlibhums.org/article/id/4406/
https://www.wbch.org.uk/
Anyway, I hope we keep talking and I hope you write more. Among queer folk, I've met *so many* who have been viciously harmed by church, and I understand why, for some, walking away can feel like the best thing. For others among us, hanging on and wrestling like Job feels more our path. Whatever - church MUST change. Like, a lot!
Ahh, I gotcha. Thank you for explaining and sharing. You’re right, we’re all struggling and trying to figure life out. I no longer choose to complicate that by trying to find the creator and how they want to be worshipped. Thanks for the conversation and I’ll surely keep writing, you please do the same!
Whewwww! Reading this reassured me that I’m not alone in stepping away from my faith. This hit home.
You’re not alone at all boo!
Thank you for speaking your truth and your experience. I grew up Jehovah's Witness and then converted to the charismatic sector of Christianity. I definitely believe in a higher being and have spiritual practices of my own, but definitely not interested in any form of organized religion as well. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much for reading and sharing Nat!
Thank you sir sharing Ashleigh.
I’m currently in the ‘I’m not sure what spirituality is to me but it’s definitely not this’ phase and I think why it’s a struggle for me to actively seek out what that means is cause I still live with my very catholic family so it’s very tricky. I love that your piece emphasised on a sort of personal acknowledgment of a change in beliefs as opposed to making announcements or something.
I do believe the general spirituality of the universe and that a lot of things feels like magic and all that stuff.
Your piece feels validating and like a I can just take a deep breath to make sense of things at my pace and I love you for that. 💜💜
Thank you so much for sharing that with me Janoma. I realize I’m privileged in that I live over 300 miles away from my immediate family and home church so there’s not much immediate pressure.
What a happy coincidence that I read this a few days after I've also taken the step to write about why I no longer practice religion (inspired, in part, by someone else's post).
I’m glad more of us are speaking our truth.